Bad cop, good cop

Bella loves to curl up between my feet when I sit on a chair. She nuzzles around my insteps before settling down and falls asleep. I feel her breathing and little stretches she takes every now and then.

‘Oh Bella, I wish if you show such affection to my hands too’

Bella seems to have developed her shyness to my hands when I approach her face to face and reach out to her. It hurts me more than a bit especially when Hubbie does exactly the same yet she shows no such inhibitions towards his hands. 

‘It’s so not fair that I am Bella’s bad cop and you’re her good cop!’ I protest to Hubbie. You see, he doesn’t do any task which can make Bella potentially uncomfortable such as cleaning her bottom or putting a collar and lead so we can go out together one day. I have to catch her and do those rituals for her welfare’s sake but Bella doesn’t seem to appreciate it that way. Oh, I am in a lose-lose situation, aren’t I?!  

I raised my concerned to a vet when I took Bella to her second vaccination. The vet reassured me that her behaviour was part of her growning up and she would outgrow the inhibition in due course. ‘They will grow to have more respect to a person who look after them. I assume you are also the one who feed her. So you don’t have to worry about her demeanour too much’. Her advice made me feel partially better but not entirely because it reminded me the feeling I had towards my parents when I was growing up. It sounds like I am in my mom’s shoes, I thought. Yes, she was a bad cop and my dad was a good one. I remember that the reverence I had for her was real but also the fear of making her angry was in the back of my mind all the time. She was not a strict disciplinarian but also not a touchy-feely person either. Comparing with her, dad was definitely a softie and openly affectionate to apple of his eye. Naturally, I was gravitated towards dad and under appreciated mom emotionally. However, I grew up and started to see the bigger picture – how mom helped me to keep the straight and narrow path, I realised how great she was.

Will Bella see me that way in future? 

Noooo, I just want her to love me! Forget about the respect. The eye contact with her gives me such a buzz and I am so in love with her…

Kaori by Kaori Okumura

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