Killer instinct

Or the lack of it, more like. Why am I saying this? It is because I am living in a perpetual bad hair day for quite sometime.
From last spring, I started to sport shorter hair and it progressed to a pixie style by the end of the summer. I thought it was very Jean Seberg – sophisticated, youthful, individual and modern. Then, completely out of blue, literally overnight, I changed my mind and developed such hate towards my hair. ‘Why did I cut my hair so short?’ ‘What made me think it would suit me?’ Bitter remose kept on tormenting me all day long. And the last straw was a remark from my good old friend. We met for lunch one day, and my hair made her gasp for words! I hadn’t seen her for a while and she didn’t know how short my hair had became. ‘Oh I prefer your hair longer!’ Yeah, I know, I know, I KNOW! I mumbled about this Jean Seberg fantasy while we settled down into the chairs. ‘Yeah I know what you tried but our head shapes are different from Caucasian’s.’ Yes dear, I do know that now.

It is so quick to cut the hair but it takes FOREVER to grow it back! Ugh, every morning, I loath to see myself in the mirror. I also absolutely hate to catch a glimpse of my own reflection in shop windows. I just hate, hate, HATE how my hair looks! Any fashion I sport, no matter how carefully I choose, my effort is cancelled out by my stupid hair style. During my darkest days, I even seriously considered buying myself a wig. I hated my mop that much.

At the moment, my hair style resembles a retro open face motorcycle helmet. It no longer looks like a pixie style but too short to be a bob. And it is very UNATTRACTIVE! It frames my face so badly and accentuates my jawline in a wrong way.
To make the matter worse, I will have to renew my passport in a few months time and I can’t bear to think that I will have to keep on seeing my bad hair day for next ten years!

Bella has no bad hair day…

I shall keep on taking collagen supplements, hoping it will speed up the growth of my hair…

Kaori by Kaori Okumura

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